The Last Jedi Sucked (Spoilers)

Lot’s of spoilers. Don’t read this until you have seen the film. 

First, a little history. I love many Star Wars films and they have been a part of my life since I was a child. I saw Star Wars (episode four) in 1977 when it premiered in theaters and my life was changed forever! Episodes four, five and six were great (except for the Ewoks) and I saw each many times in theaters. I don’t know what George Lucas was thinking with episodes one, two, and three. I think they need to be re-made as an apology to the world and Jar Jar Binks should be written-out entirely. Next, all of the original movies (4,5 & 6) that were digitally “enhanced” need to be recalled and destroyed (Han shot first). Another bad Lucas move.

Many years passed and Disney bought the franchise. I was worried. Then came The Force Awakens, and though many criticized it, I loved it. I did not appreciate Han Solo being killed, but I could deal with it. Next came Rogue One. I was not as excited as I was for The Force Awakens, but I was shocked at how much I loved this movie! It was darker than other Star Wars movies and I liked that. Darth Vader, though not in too much of the movie, was impressive as he was in episode four. I like Vader angry, really angry. I was actually afraid the first time I saw him in 1977 (I was a little kid) and I felt that familiarness again in Rogue One.

Now, The Last Jedi is here. I had been looking forward to it answering all of the questions left by The Force Awakens. What’s the backstory for Snoke? Who were Rey’s parents? Is Luke going to come kick some Empire ass? Wrong, wrong, wrong! Snoke – no backstory and he’s killed. WTF? Rey’s parents were revealed to have been nobody’s that merely sold her for some quick cash. WTF? Luke is a grumpy old man screaming at kids to get off his lawn. WTF? I was never that impressed with Luke until Return of the Jedi because he was developing as a character. He was no Han Solo, but he had potential. Not now. Thanks for ruining the character.

Most attempts at comedy fell flat. The other films were dramas with subtle comedic moments or comic relief. They tried too hard in this film and the attempts at comedy fell flat. Luke accepting the lightsaber and then tossing it over his shoulder was just a bad start to the film. Sad.

Disney, keep lefty Hollywood out of my Star Wars! I am a conservative republican and I follow politics, however, I want my Star Wars films non-partisan. I try and not read politics into everything, but it was too obvious in this movie. The entire casino and animal scene should be cut out. I’m not disgusted by people having more money than me or being rich as long as they don’t steal from others or do evil. Obviously the director was addressing his view of financial “inequality” by the way he painted a picture of the wealthy. And when it comes to animal cruelty, I think I am more for the rights of animals than the average person. I am truly disgusted by animals being harmed or mistreated. However, the entire scene about freeing the horse racing creatures was just unnecessary and stupid. It was just too SJW.

There have been many factually incorrect things in Star Wars films (other than being total fiction). You do not hear explosions in space, but it sounds cool in the movies so I accept it wholeheartedly. But what was up with the bombers? Were the Imperial ships so big they actually had gravity? If not, how do you drop a bomb in space? Yes, they had other scenes in other films in the series where ships get disabled and sort of fall and crash into other objects, but this was just too much. Also, when a spaceship runs out of fuel, wouldn’t it just keep going at the last speed since there is no resistance in space? Why would you need to keep the engines running the entire time? The whole point of the Empire picking off the rebels as they ran out of fuel does not make sense unless they were constantly accelerating the entire time. They were out of range so they obviously maxed out the speed of the Empire ships…

There were too many glaring issues in this film to not feel let down. Disney and the director failed us. I was so disappointed. If this were any other movie it would be okay, but it is part of the Star Wars sagas and a lot more was expected. They had better not screw up Solo, A Star Wars Story…

UPDATE 3/25/2018

I watched the movie again to make sure I wasn’t being too picky. It still sucked. I read articles on why the directory (Rian Johnson) changed the original story and so on… I still think he screwed up the movie so badly that no explanation will do. Hopefully JJ Abrams can make the third movie in a way that will repair Johnson’s damage. Come on Disney – I thought you would keep something like the Last Jedi from happening!

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